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February 2008 E-Bulletin

E-Bulletin #8
February 2008  

Feature
Elda and Ron Soderquist on Equality and Marriage

Events
Become a Non-Smoker in 90 minutes  |  2008 Annual Conference  |  Alumni Luncheon  |  2008 Grad Picnic  |  A Fine Arts Exhibit of Artists with Developmental Disabilities

News  
Michelle Browning Speaks at UCLA  |  Former Phillips Faculty Nominated to Local AAMFT Board  |  “Catch Them Being Good” by Jody Kussin, Ph.D. Now Available

Services
No-Cost Professional Assistance for Organizations

Get Involved
Join the Alumni Association  |  Recycle Ink Cartridges and Cell Phones for Student Scholarships  |  Make the Money You Spend Work Harder Than Ever Before  |  Phillips Communications Bureau  |  Class Notes  |  Help MFT Students  | Attention All Authors! 



Feature


Phillips Alum and Faculty on EQUALITY! in Marriage
We interviewed Elda and Ron Soderquist, authors of EQUALITY! Secret of Lasting Love about how their married lives together influenced their practice with couples and writing this book.  Elda Soderquist graduated from Phillips in 1976 with  an MA in MFT. Ron was one of the founding faculty members and was recently nominated to the Board of the local AAMFT. Today they are practicing marriage and family therapists and medical hypnotists. To purchase EQUALITY! Call 818.654.1732.   

Q. Why did you write EQUALITY! Secret of Lasting Love?  

A. The idea for our book evolved when we had already shared a counseling practice for some twenty years and we had already celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary.  We did a lot of talking about what we had learned about this very complicated relationship called “marriage.”  After a day working with couples we would often share both our successes and failures as we explored innovative ways to help couples abandon their negative habits and embrace a partnership of joy and satisfaction.

When we reviewed our own marriage it was not difficult to notice how much we had changed.  As we reveal in EQUALITY! we, like all couples, brought “Habits From Home” – automatic ways of solving problems – some of which definitely needed to be changed.  The more we discussed our own marriage journey and the heartwarming satisfaction of helping couples grow together, the more we began to focus on writing a book to share our experience with others.   

Q. Can you discuss equality in the context of a marriage?  How does it work?

A. Elda:  “Neither person dominates the other. We respect each other’s abilities and appreciate each other’s contributions to common goals.”  

Ron:  “I agree with Elda. She has a knack for condensing complex ideas into just a few words.  As we began to focus on EQUALITY! as the theme for our self help book for couples, I often tested out our ideas on friends. For example, when I told a tennis buddy we were writing a book on equality in marriage his spontaneous response was: “Oh, so it’s a fiction and fantasy book, right?”  While his response caught me by surprise I soon discovered most couples, both men and women, were not at all optimistic about creating a really equal, democratic marriage. 

Every day in our offices we worked with couples involved in a power struggle.  In EQUALITY! we dare to share our own evolution from power struggle to comfortable equality.       

Q. Can you give some examples of evolving from power struggle to equality in your own marriage?

A. Elda and Ron:  When you read EQUALITY! you will find many examples of our growth process, some difficult and even painful.  For example we write about Ron’s assumption, early in our marriage, that when we disagreed he would have the final vote!  As a young couple we had no idea how to negotiate a disagreement toward a win-win solution.  We had never learned those skills.  We had not seen them practiced at home.  Therefore, in EQUALITY! we very clearly lay out the ground rules for negotiation, which includes the skills of listening with an open mind.

In addition to our own stories, we include many examples of couples learning the skills required to go beyond a power struggle. One woman summed up the struggle for equality very well when she said: “It’s a lot of work but it’s worth it.”

Q. How did the two of you meet?

A. Elda:  After earning my R.N. at the University of Minnesota and working in hospitals I wanted to go in a different direction.  More studies at the university resulted in an invitation to serve as Counselor to Lutheran Students at the University of Minnesota and Hamlin College. Part of my job was to organize educational experiences for students and, fortunately, a Lutheran Seminary was located close to the University campus. 

That’s where I found Ron who came to lead a seminar and that’s where he found me! Ron’s first profession, before he became a clinical psychologist, was a Lutheran parish pastor. 

Q. Tell us about the image on the front of the book. You look so happy.

A. When you ask about the book cover photo it brings back memories of our June wedding day, 1951.  The photographer caught us just before we left the church in our very old Chevrolet with a big dent in one door.  But the price was just right for a poor graduate student:  $75.00!

Q. How has your marriage influenced your clinical work, and vice versa?

A. Certainly there are professions where one can separate personal and professional life: A chemist or engineer can perform at levels of excellence regardless of the quality of the marriage.  We feel fortunate to be in a profession where we are constantly learning about couple dynamics. We brought those learnings home and applied them to our own marriage.

There has always been a kind of circle of learning, from our profession to our personal life and back again.  We have learned and continue to learn so much from one another. It is inevitable that we bring those learnings to our work with couples. Every day we are reminded, at a personal level, of the importance of courtesy, kindness, affection and support for one another.  It is natural, therefore, to bring that awareness to the couples who sit before us.

Q. How did you actually write the book?  Did you get along while you were writing it?

A. While writing the book was a unique experience for us we did have a host of related experiences that were helpful.  We had led many weekend retreats for couples and we taught Marriage Enrichment courses here in the states. By the time we sat down to write EQUALITY! we had already lectured together in Australia, Russia and England.  It was exciting to share the stage in Moscow and St. Petersberg, each of us with our own translator in front of 150 doctors and psychologists.  This was in 1992, soon after the collapse of the wall and our audience was eager for information from the West.  After our lectures several psychologists told us that, while our material was useful, they were actually more fascinated with watching the way we related as a couple.  They said it was new to see a couple so relaxed, informal and easily laughing together.  We were touched by their response.

We feel fortunate to have shared so many adventures together, so our writing was just another shared adventure.

You ask about our writing method.  We usually each wrote a chapter or part of a chapter. Then we read and edited each other’s work.  I (Ron) feel fortunate that Elda’s first degree was in English. So she has some special writing and editing skills, always very helpful to me.

Q. Do you have any advice for young wives and husbands out there?

A. I will just report what we hear from couples.  For example: “My wife and I sit together on the couch several evenings a week and read aloud from EQUALITY!   We often pause to discuss the questions in the chapter of the evening, whether it’s about emotions or communication or even about our sex life.”  A woman recently reported: “While my husband isn’t willing yet to read EQUALITY! with me, I have read several chapters and have applied some of the suggestions to our marriage.  It has been very helpful already.”

Finally if, as a young couple, you are having some problems, do two things:  Relax and tell yourself first: “This is normal to have growing pains in a young marriage.”  Secondly, if the problems persist take action.  Perhaps EQUALITY! will be all you need to keep growing as a couple.  It’s a place to start.  

If you need more than EQUALITY!, find a competent MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist).  We interviewed 40 couples with long, healthy marriages – nearly every one had been through difficult times and they shared how they grew, both personally and in their marriage, from persisting instead of giving up.         

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Events

2008 Grad Picnic
Sunday, June 1st 1:00 – 5:00pm 
Woodley Park (between Victory and Burbank Boulevards) 
$13/person, kids under 11 free
2008 Graduates Free
RSVP or questions: Francine Roberts 818.654.1753
Come join us as we welcome the Phillips ’08 graduating class to the Grad Picnic hosted by the Alumni Association.  You won’t want to miss a fun afternoon of barbecue and games with old and new friends.  Let’s give the newest graduating class a warm welcome.   

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2008 Annual Conference 
April 1 through April 6
Phillips Campus, 5445 Balboa Blvd, Encino  
A multidisciplinary educational experience targeted both to the novice and seasoned professional, the majority of Annual Conference seminars are eligible for continuing education credit for MFTs, LCSWs and Psychologists.  Workshop topics include: Dreamworks, Yoga Psychology, Group Therapy, Adolescents, Short-Term Psychotherapy, Couples Therapy, Law & Ethics, Self-Injury, Maternal Depression and Interpersonal Neurobiology.  For more information, contact Deanna Mouser at 818.386.5632.     

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Alumni Luncheon
April 5, 2008, 12:00-2:00pm
Phillips Campus, 5445 Balboa Blvd, Encino
Come back to campus to see old friends and make new ones! The Phillips Alumni Luncheon is a celebration of Phillips over the years and a wonderful opportunity to come back and see what we’ve been up to. The Shirley Riley Award will be presented, as well as the 2008 Scholarship for Academic Excellence. Join President Lisa Porché-Burke, Alumni Board President Kirby Tepper, your Alumni Board, faculty members and students for a great time.

$20 per person, $10 for students. Please contact Francine Roberts for more information at 818.654.1753.  

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Become a Non-Smoker in 90 minutes
Sunday February 24th 3:00 pm-4:30 pm
Phillips Campus, 5445 Balboa Blvd, Encino
CalFam is offering a no-cost smoking cessation seminar.   Dr. Ann J. Elkin, a clinical psychologist, has been using hypnosis in her practice for over 25 years. Due to the death of her parents from lung cancer, she has a special passion to help people stop smoking.  85% of those who want to quit smoking do so after only one session.   Normally, there is no weight gain, no withdrawal symptoms, no cravings, no irritability and no feelings of deprivation. RSVP to Amy Prieto, Intake Coordinator, at (818) 386-5615.   

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A Fine Arts Exhibit of Artists with Developmental Disabilities
November 2 – February 19
Phillips Campus  5445 Balboa Blvd, Encino
The Art Therapy Program at Phillips is collaborating with the Art Center – San Pedro Exceptional Children’s Foundation to present “A Fine Arts Exhibit of Artists with Developmental Disabilities.”  Surprising and touching, many pieces are still for sale and are on display in the 2nd floor hallway gallery near the Clinical Psychology Program Offices.  For more information, contact Noah Hass-Cohen at 818.386.5611.    

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Services

No-Cost Professional Assistance for Organizations
Phillips Organizational Consulting doctoral students are looking for internships at local businesses and nonprofits to complete professional development hours. If you know of a business or organization that could use help with marketing, branding, mission development, database management, etc., please call Michelle Browning at 818.654.1734.     

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News

“Catch Them Being Good” by Jody Kussin, Ph.D. Now Available
We’re pleased to announce that “Catch Them Being Good - a Guide to Positive Parenting” by Jody Kussin, PhD is now available at the Phillips Bookstore.  This exceptional guide can be used in clinics, schools, hospitals, synagogues and churches, private practice offices and community centers.   

“Catch Them Being Good” is a great new self-contained 12-week course for professionals to lead parents of children 2-18.  It is designed to provide a foundation of parenting so that each parent participant can proceed in a systematic manner to enhance their parent/child relationship and their parenting skills.  Focusing on the positive, the basics of this course are the building blocks to an enriched parent/child relationship.  It provides systematic guidelines for instructors to guide parents to guide children.  A positive approach with parents can result in a positive approach in their parenting skills. 

The course encourages parents to look for and enjoy the magic in their children.  Parents are taught to identify and name things they like about their children; they are encouraged to take time to enjoy them.  They are given a global view of child rearing as the creation and development of “citizens of the world.”   This program is based on the recognition that each family has their own unique way of making it through a day and that some of their “techniques” are very successful for them.  There is a sense of respect communicated to parents from leaders about “what works in your house.” It teaches leaders to tailor the information to meet the needs of each family...culturally, developmentally and sensitively.  

“Catch Them Being Good” contains all the material the professional needs to conduct positive parenting classes immediately: Brief Overviews – provide at-a-glance road map for each class; Detailed Outlines – supply background information and guidelines for leading discussions; Role Play Exercises – age-specific practice opportunities for parents; Handouts, Homework and Development Information focus on specific age-appropriate behavior and techniques for parents to be copied and distributed for each class.  

To purchase “Catch Them Being Good”, call 818.386.5674.  Quantity discounts are available.     

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Michelle Browning Speaks at UCLA
Dr. Michelle Browning, faculty member and Director of Placement for the Organizational Consulting Program, was invited to speak at UCLA on February 7 for the Alpha Sharp Outreach.  Dr. Browning discussed the Phillips doctoral program in Organizational Consulting as well as professional resume building, career planning and time management.

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Former Phillips Faculty Nominated to Local AAMFT Board
Dr. Ron Soderquist, one of the first Phillips faculty, was recently nominated to the Board of the California Division of the AAMFT. He will be forming a chapter meeting in the Ventura area.    

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Get Involved  

Make the Money You Spend Work Harder Than Ever Before
You can earn money for student scholarships by shopping at your favorite local businesses, such as Bristol Farms, Howe’s, Eddie Bauer, Macy’s and Baja Fresh. Just register your credit and debit cards with eScrip. These and other companies will reward your customer loyalty by automatically contributing a percentage of your purchase to Phillips Graduate Institute for student scholarships.  

Register now and get two coupons for free tacos from Baja Fresh.   www.eScrip.com  For more information, download the flyer.  

Special thanks to Baja Fresh for their support of Phillips Graduate Institute.    

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Recycle Ink Cartridges and Cell Phones for Student Scholarships
Phillips is recycling old ink cartridges and cell phones to help raise money for student scholarships. Just bring any kind of ink cartridge or cell phone and place it in the receptacle in the student lounge, or to the Office of Advancement (near Student Affairs). For more information, see the flyer, or call Francine Roberts at 818.654.1753.    

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Get Involved with the Alumni Association
The Alumni Association is a networking and service organization made up of graduates of Phillips and former CalFam trainees dedicated to serving the community and supporting Phillips.

Benefits of Joining Your Alumni Association:
  • Free or discounted admission to Alumni Association events
  • Up to 6 hours of free Spring workshops (some restrictions apply)
  • PGI library membership and full access ($100 value)
  • Inclusion in the Alumni Referral Directory
  • Discounted Continuing Education classes and workshops
  • 10% discount at the PGI Bookstore  

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Phillips Communications Bureau
The Alumni Association has teamed up with Phillips and CalFam to establish the Communications Bureau as a resource for alums, students and the community.  Alums and students from any Phillips program can apply to present talks and workshops to nonprofits, organizations, businesses and schools on psychoeducational and organizational topics such as Leadership in Nonprofits, School Violence, Organizational Efficiency, Domestic Violence, etc.  If you are interested in becoming a speaker with the Communications Bureau, please complete the Temporary Speakers Form and return it to Francine Roberts or fax it to 818.654.1772.  

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Class Notes
We’d love to hear about what you’ve been doing since graduating from Phillips.  What are your specialties?  Have you given any presentations or workshops recently or do you plan to?  Is there anything you want your peers to know about you that they may not already know?  Let us know so we can spread the word.  For your convenience, you can email your information to froberts@pgi.edu.     

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MFT Students and Required Therapeutic Hours
Providing MFT students with therapy on a sliding scale is a great way to give back to Phillips students and to the mental health profession.  The MA in Psychology program requires students to experience their own personal therapy prior to graduation.  Please email Lisa Wolfe, MFT Clinical Training Coordinator, at  lwolfe@pgi.edu to be added to the Psychotherapist Directory.  

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Attention All Authors!
Do you like to write?  We’re seeking articles written by our alums for the next issue of Alum News, the Alumni Newsletter.  The following sections are planned: In practice / Nuts and Bolts Legal / Procedural Community Mental Health Alumni Spotlight. Please contact Francine Roberts at 818.654.1753 or froberts@pgi.edu with your ideas.

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At Phillips we make every effort to update alumni contact information so we can keep you informed, but we know that people move and may not remember to let us know.  If you’ve kept in contact with your former classmates, we’d be grateful if you’d forward this e-bulletin to them.  Also, please ask them to call 818.654.1753 to provide us with their most current contact information.  We appreciate your help!

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NEWS & EVENTS